Is It Time To talk Extra ABout How To Take Ass Nudes?

Is It Time To talk Extra ABout How To Take Ass Nudes?

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I've long wanted to do a parody of the Dan Brown PR machine. If you adored this article and you also would like to get more info with regards to Roadside Redhead Nude Pics please visit the web site. Finally, here 'tis:

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The following is a transcription of the pitch session for Dan Brown's next novel, The Botticelli Botch. Present are the author, hwill be new agent Bizzy Boca, his new publisher Ernst Kluliss, and (getting in on the ground floor) the famous film producer Sam Schnellgeld.

Dan: (arriving ten minutes late): Sorry, guys. Bizzy, did you lay out my basic position? I'd really rather not get ripped off this time. Royalties, rights, creative control, profit-sharing on the movie deal. Crazy schedule. Can't wait to get back to New Hampshire and the writer's life.

Sam (arriving two minutes later): Well, hello dream team. Bizzy, that skirt is hot.

Bizzy: It's so exciting to have you here, Sam.

Ernst: Yes, and for a stodgy old bookbinder like me, it's exciting to do business with a real Hollywood mogul.

Sam: How about you, Danny? You excited?

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Dan: Sure. But we want to near rapidly. I actually contain another visit inside an complete hr. Crazy schedule. Can't wait to get back to New Hampshire -

Sam: No biggie. I got lunch in twenty. Will this new one get all the religious nuts crawling out of the woodwork to do our marketing for us? The Da Vinci Code is a hard act to follow. So Bizzy, you wet dream, lay it on me. And please, no retread.

Dan: I'll make the pitch, if you don't mind. Sam, Ernst, The Botticelli Botch shall not be a retread. Bizzy's still learning the names. For starters, the opening funds photograph shall not be in Paris but in Florence. The Uffizi.

Sam: Uffizi, eh? Didn't know you were into automatic weapons. I confess, I did wonder why your wacko Opus Dei albino monk didn't shoot the curator with an Uzi. Does this one start with a murder, too? More sadistic, and no goddamn lobbyists. But here's some advice: if you're taking the Mafia route, use Russians.

Dan: No, a rape. Under Botticelli's The Birth of Venus.

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Ernst: Splendid! And who will play the victim? How about Kiera Knightly? And personally, I'd be very interested in meeting her. She absolutely includes the deal with and body to come to be a descendant of Mary Magdalene.

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Bizzy: Don't you just love the Mary Magdalene theme in The Da Vinci Code? Talk about royalty! The Holy Grail as her uterus, and Jesus as her stud muffin? I meant to tell you, Dan: I dreamed I was part of the bloodline, ideal down through the Merovingian dynasty.

Dan: Actually, I'm skipping that plot. My facts all come from Henry Lincoln's Holy Blood, Holy Grail, I tell them, and if he were a charlatan, would the BBC have funded his programs? Not to mention all those nit-picking Bible scholars. Too much hate mail from narrow-minded Christians who won't even consider that Emperor Constantine might have cooked up the whole Jesus-divinity thing in order to stamp out goddess worship.

Bizzy: Plus it's a novel. It's scary, isn't it, how some people can't distinguish between fact and fiction? The De uma Vinci Program code is a ongoing work of the human imagination!

Ernst: And a tribute to the human spirit, unfettered by the chains of religious dogma.

Sam: For marketing, you're probably right to sideline the Jesus stuff. It was brilliant to hire that Jesus-f